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The Collapse of Muslim Marriages 8 December 2008

Posted by MOZAFFAR in Misc.

I used to be of the view that Muslim marriages have been collapsing because we have these couples that are being pulled in multiple directions. They are being pulled in one direction by the perceptions of Islamic obligations. They are being pulled in another direction by the culture they were raised in in their homes. They are being pulled by the culture they were raised in outside of their homes. They are being pulled by the requirements of professional advancement.

That is definitely true for many. And for many, that cultural tug of war manifests in a different way: lack of love from the parents. Muslim parents in the US very commonly break their backs in raising their kids, but they are surprisingly consistent in not telling their children that they love them. This unmet need in the child, now a wife or husband, has devastating results, not the least of which is an emotional tornado.

Meaning, many Muslim marriages are breaking because of anger. But, that anger itself has often been a habit that formed in compensation for this lack of tenderness in their growth.



1. Redwan Ahmed - 8 December 2008

I need more bloggers on my group blog, would you be able to get me some bloggers on my group blog?

2. Anonymous - 8 December 2008

i wonder if this applies to non-muslim marriages.

3. johnathon Amayo - 8 December 2008

i think this applies to most non-muslims too. and not only do we lack tenderness as a resources, but as a example too.

4. amuslimah - 12 December 2008

wow…..this is totally outside my experience as a Muslim in the US. trying to wrap my head around what sounds like a very difficult experience…..

5. Farzana - 25 December 2008

This is really interesting. Anger is a massive problem amongst muslims, but I didn’t think to make the connection between this to a lack of love to eventually emotional problems and breakdown of marriages. But it does make sense.

How do we resolve it though?

6. Umm Layth - 27 December 2008

as salamu ‘alaykum

Although anger isn’t a small issue, it is often overlooked as small. If we could just leave our nafs behind and overlook our spouses faults we could really improve our relationships.

Our Beloved Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) told us what to do when moments of anger appear. Steps to apply include seeking refuge in Allah from Shaytan ar-Rajeem, making wudhu’, sitting when we are standing, laying down when we are sitting, etc… Other things that we can do when anger builds up for someone is make du’a’ for them and think of their good qualities. It’s really about focusing and paying as much attention as possible so that anger and other things don’t come creeping back into our lives.

7. manu - 5 January 2009


Remember anger is from satan, so try to avoid being in such a situation.

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