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Theory #101: Love vs. Infatuation 21 January 2006

Posted by ALBUS in Culture, GUESTS, Relationships.


Love is a friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time. Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. One is excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. Love means trust. Infatuation is a passion bereft of inner certainty and might lead you to do things one will regret later, but love never will. Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. Love lifts you up and makes you want to better yourself because of the significant other in your life.



1. hikm - 25 January 2006

Very Jack Nicholson in “As Good As It Gets.”

Love lift us up where we belong
Where the eagles cry, on a mountain high
Love lift us up where we belong
Far from the world we know
Up where the clear winds blow

2. ABD - 25 January 2006

as-salaam alaykum. apparently, that’s from a song that predates “as good as it gets.” it was written for the soundtrack of “an officer and a gentleman” and became a hit single by joe cocker and jennifer warnes. the power of google…

3. Hikm - 25 January 2006

Wasalam ya ABD,

The line below the first sentence was supposed to denote the separation of the the two. Albus’ post reminded me of both.

The scene where JN’s character prclaims his love for the character played by Helen Hunt. And the song.

4. ABD - 25 January 2006

aah. thanks for the clarification.

5. S. - 26 January 2006

Albus –

A NYTimes article from last year describing “new love” seems to be quite similar to what you attribute to “infatuation.” I’m curious as to how you would incorporate into your theory what MRI scans and psychology studies are indicating on love – all different sorts, including “romantic love,” a phrase that is missing from your theory, but abounds in many psychology articles.

Exceprt from NYTimes: “New love can look for all the world like mental illness, a blend of mania, dementia and obsession that cuts people off from friends and family and prompts out-of-character behavior – compulsive phone calling, serenades, yelling from rooftops – that could almost be mistaken for psychosis.”

For entire article “Watching New Love as It Sears the Brain,” see: http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/31/health/psychology/31love.html?ex=1138424400&en=d5e2b59d74b8ad03&ei=5070

In the meanwhile, fyi: National Geographic’s February 2006 issue explores “Love: The Chemical Reaction.”


6. drjou - 6 February 2006

We have been created this way. I’m sure there is deep wisdom behind it. How does admiration become infatuation become ‘peaceful love’?

In the Qur’an we read about Sayyidna Yusuf alaihisalaam. He was passionately sought after. And one might say that he was not completely devoid of passion himself:

12:24 “And certainly she made for him, and he would have made for her, were it not that he had seen the manifest evidence of his Lord; thus (it was) that We might turn away from him evil and indecency, surely he was one of Our sincere servants.”

Infatuation, passionate delirium is something that we all face. Perhaps, Islamically, how it is dealt with distinguishes the believers as it did in the case of Sayyidnah Yusuf, peace upon him.

7. Anonymous - 10 November 2007

As an Islam, how can you even begin to speak of love? What could the Qur`an teach about it, when it also speaks about Holy War?

8. asd - 2 December 2007

What do you say to this?
Love is a obsesion aproved and look as necesary by society. Ther is nothing more than quemicals in your brain that makes you feel like you’re flying.

9. neena - 13 February 2009

am at university, i had a friend at college,she was nt my best friend bt still..at z university i met hs boyfriend, n h said 2 me that h loves me at first i was hesistant bt at the same tme happy coz i started 2 lve hm and later on durn’g our vacation we started 2 text each other n i acpted hs proposal. bt the prblm is that nw i dnt want 2 share hm and am 2 timid 2 say anythng. wat shu i do?

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